Teens and Peer Pressure

Help your teen make good decisions—regardless of what friends think

Every teen faces peer pressure at school and social events. But if you want to limit the negative influences on your son or daughter, start at home, says Denise Gibbs, a nurse practitioner specializing in child and adolescent psychiatry at Lehigh Valley Hospital and Health Network. “The level of support a teen has at home is the main factor in how much he’s affected by peer pressure,” Gibbs says.

As teens become more independent, their friends may be offering them new choices about sex, drugs, tobacco and alcohol use, she says. “The more comfortable teens feel talking to parents about these moral choices, the less likely they are to fall into bad habits with peer groups. They need to know you’re available to them, physically and emotionally. There’s no replacement for time spent together.”

While most parents focus on issues like sex and drug use, it’s just as likely your teen will face peer pressure in the areas of academic, artistic and sports activities. The pressure can be positive, or—for those who push themselves too hard—it can result in stress-related disorders.

Peers may have a greater influence on girls than boys, Gibbs says, in part because they go through puberty earlier. But girls and boys in organized sports, where coaches play a parental role in helping them test moral choices, often are less susceptible to peers.

Talking to your son or daughter about peer pressure can be difficult. Gibbs offers these suggestions:

• Meet your teen’s friends and watch how they interact—is your child a leader or follower? Ask her what she and her friends do to- gether, but don’t make judgments or accusations.
• If you’re concerned, use a nonthreatening approach that focuses on you, not your teen: “I’m nervous about your behavior because I care about you.” Believe it or not, teens respond because they still want to please their parents, Gibbs says.
• Don’t condemn your teen’s decisions or dismiss her requests. “It’s wiser to hear her out and let her make the decision—within your boundaries,” Gibbs says.

Be concerned if your teen shows a dramatic change in behavior, Gibbs says, especially if there’s also a change of friends. “If a young person stops enjoying favorite activities, has trouble with sleep, isolates herself or talks about not being liked, it can be a sign of substance abuse or emotional illness.”

If mood swings come on suddenly and last more than a month, talk to your pediatrician or family doctor about psychological counseling.

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